In the Fall of 2011, I had the privilege of coaching a young man by the name of Matt McEnerney. I got to know Matt and his bride-to-be Becca as I did some pre-marriage counseling with them and performed their wedding. During this time, Matt came to find out that besides being a pastor, I was also a life and executive coach. Coaching intrigued Matt as he was searching for some clarity in his career choices in his life. Through the process of coaching together, Matt gained greater clarity about his gifting in life and how best to live that gifting out through various career options.
As the months went on, our coaching journey began to shift to more of a spiritual focus. Matt wanted to grow deeper in his relationship with Jesus. Through our coaching together, he began to sense that God was calling him not only to know Him more intimately but was also calling Matt to make Him known through his life as well. Matt set spiritual goals, like wanting to read the Bible every day, finding ways to serve others, and sharing his faith with those who did not know Christ. Through our coaching relationship, I began to disciple Matt. The result was that he grew more and more as a committed follower of Jesus.
The Distinction Between Coaching & Discipleship
So, what is the relationship between coaching and discipleship? First of all, it is essential to note that coaching IS NOT discipleship. That’s right! Coaching and discipleship are two very different things. Discipleship flows from the mandate of Jesus in Matthew 28:19-20 in which He instructs His followers, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Discipleship, as outlined here by Jesus, is a PROCESS (a series of actions that are carried out in order to achieve a particular result). In this case, the PROCESS of discipleship is making people followers of Jesus.
Now the MEANS (the method of doing something) to disciple someone to become a follower of Jesus can be varied. In Matthew 28, there are two specific MEANS highlighted – baptizing and teaching. However, there are other MEANS that the Church has used for centuries to help disciple people as well – preaching, receiving the Lord’s Supper, worship, prayer, spiritual disciplines, mentoring, etc. Now, one of the most effective and personalized MEANS I’ve discovered of empowering people to grow in the PROCESS of becoming a more committed follower of Jesus is coaching. Through an intimate one-on-one coaching relationship, or sometimes with small groups or teams of people, a coach can help people grow as followers of Jesus in regards to their head, their heart, and their hands.
Head – Coaching For Awareness
One of the first outcomes that coaches focus on in working with a client is creating awareness. Often, people seek out coaching to help process through some of the big questions of life, whether or not they are consciously aware. Who am I? Why am I here? What is the meaning of life? What is my place in this world? What difference can I make in life? What do I uniquely have to offer others? It is these deep questions that move a coaching conversation in a spiritual direction very quickly, and the place where discipleship can begin.
Our role as coaches in working with clients who are open to exploring these profound spiritual questions is not to give answers as is so often associated with discipleship. Instead, through active listening and powerful questions, we help deepen their awareness of who God is and who they are in relationship to Him. We do so by assisting them to tap into previous knowledge they have from sermons they’ve heard, Bible classes they’ve participated in, the time they’ve spent in private devotion in the Scriptures, or the witness of a friend. We can help create awareness of where gaps are in their faith knowledge and explore with our clients where they can go to fill in those gaps. We can create awareness by asking questions that very few believers often ask, like, “What does God have to say on this matter?” Finally, we can help clients create awareness of how God has gifted them for His service in life.
Heart – Coaching For Transformation
A second outcome we aim for as we utilize coaching for discipling others is the transformation of their hearts. One of the promises that God gives through the prophet Ezekiel is that He would one day give us a new heart and put a new spirit within His people. (Ezek 36:26). That promise came through the person and the saving work of Jesus. Now through faith in Christ, we are a new creation and as a result we have a new identity, the old is gone, and the new has come. (2 Cor 5:17) Jesus’ desire in discipleship is not just to save us, but to transform us more and more into His likeness as we live out our days through faith in Him.
Often people come to coaching for performance-related issues. They believe that if they could change their actions that they will see improvement in their life. Yet sometimes, merely changing our actions is not enough. Sometimes we need to look at situations differently and change our strategies, which lead to new actions and different results. However, even these changes don’t always bring about the lasting change or improvement that clients are seeking. Sometimes what needs to change is you! Transformational coaching aims to help the client answer the question, “How do I need to change?” Or maybe the more important question might be, “What does God need to change in me?” It is through these deep level coaching questions that God can begin his process of transforming hearts and seeing a new harvest for the Kingdom in the lives of believers.
Hands – Coaching For Action
The last outcome discipleship coaching seeks to aim for is to see followers of Jesus put their hands into action in loving and serving their neighbors. In James 1:22, we hear, “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” Yes, being a follower of Jesus starts in simply resting in God’s promises of grace, but it also involves our doing – living in faith and living out our faith in daily life. Ultimately, God’s will for our lives is not only to love Him, but it is to love our neighbor as ourselves in both word and deed.
Ultimately, coaching isn’t coaching if there is not some action that is taken by the client at the end of a coaching session. Visions and goals are grand, but until they are put into action, they simply remain visions and goals. Our role in discipleship coaching is to empower our clients design actions to make not only their dreams but God’s dreams of what He desires to do in and through their lives a reality. In this way, as Paul says, “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” (Gal 2:20) As a result, Jesus begins to live His life through His followers, and they literally become His presence in our world today – His hands that reach, His feet that go, and his voice that speaks.
The Fruit Of Discipleship Coaching
In early July of 2019, I received some heartbreaking news from Matt’s wife. On the evening of July 4th, Matt died in a car accident. The news was devastating, not only because of the investment I had made in his life through coaching together but also because of the deep friendship we had formed as a result. Amid the sadness of this shocking news, Becca shared with me how much Matt valued me and the investment I had made in his life. Matt had continued to read his Bible every day over these many years. He also touched many lives as he sought to live as a reflection of Christ’s love by serving others. And it was her firm conviction that he died knowing Jesus’ promise of life everlasting. Through coaching, I was able to be used by God to disciple Matt, not only to be a more committed follower of Jesus in this life but also to lay claim of God’s promises in Christ in the life to come. Through the means of our coaching together, Jesus worked the process of discipleship in Matt’s life to bring about the lasting fruit of being His follower. Who might God be calling you to bless through coaching to empower them to grow as a life-long follower of Jesus – head, heart and hands?
Author: Rev Dr Travis Guse
